Owning Your Space

As a little kid there was always
the threat
of the unpredictable rage of her father
He didn’t need a reason to beat her up
Nowhere she was safe
not even under the sheets
in her own bed

As she longed for a safe place
she took all the coins
from her money box
and went on her own to the store
to buy a lock for her door

But her father was like a wild monster
when violent rage came over him
that the lock on the door of her bedroom
could not protect her from
He just thundered through

So then she withdrew more and more
and made her own space very small
a small corner within herself
with walls around it
was all what was left

And also later in life
many people violently invaded her
Until she learned that
in order to keep her space safe and protected
she didn’t need to put a lock,
nor did she need to withdraw

But she needed to make her space bigger
She needed to own it
Instead of fear, she filled up
her space with true love
and let its strong and bright
burning torches protect her

©RoseGirl2019

Union Within

I am the strong woman
And I am a shy girl
I am optimistic
and can drown in deep despair
I am courageous and open
I am closed off
and shaken with fear
I am adventurous, sociable
And I am a loner

I always thought that
to become whole within me
All the time I need to be
that strong, expressive woman
And make the other pieces of me
disappear
But then I realized,
to be whole is to accept and acknowledge
all those different pieces
to unite them within me
and don’t see them separated

And maybe I am all, maybe I am none
I am the presence behind it
that observes and writes about this

I am the poetess
and I am my poetry
I am your beloved
and I am the poet
My beloved is in me

(As within, so without)

©RoseGirl2019

Ocean Of Peace 

I float in my own ocean
An endless space
of peace
and love
Carried by the waves
Water that is deep
and calm
And I am filled with grace

Though then the thoughts arise:
‘What if the storm is real
and this is just a dream’
‘What if dark clouds will push the sun away’
‘What if the waters will be rough again
And I will sink in deep’

My fears arise and make
Ripples in the water
On the surface
Of my ocean

Then I hear
a voice from within:
‘It is up to you
Do you let the sharks come in
Do you make
them appear
or disappear’
I choose.

I fall back in my own ocean
This endless space
of peace
and love
Carried by the waves
Water that is deep
and calm
And no sharks any near

©RoseGirl2017