My Hyperactive Great Grandmother

We called my great grandmother
‘grandma bus’
She always sat behind the window
And when a bus passed by
She hysterically yelled at us, small kids,
‘There is a bus!’
And there were busses every few minutes

My great grandma yelled, screamed, talked very loudly all the time
Since she was half deaf
And besides of that, she was hyperactive

Even at the age of 96
She stood in the middle of life
She wanted to know about everything
and seemed never tired
Every time when we had visited her
we as kids were completely worn out

She liked to watch soap operas very much
‘The Bold And The Beautiful’ was her favourite
And even on her death bed
she wanted the television to be turned on
So she wouldn’t miss a single thing

They asked her if she could accept
that she would die
She said she could
She had had a good life
and she believed heaven and the Lord would wait her

The only thing that was really a pity:
she then wouldn’t know no more
how ‘The Bold And The Beautiful’ would continue
And if Ridge and Taylor would finally come together

©RoseGirl2019

In The Woods

Into the woods I go
Where trees are just trees
and don’t need to be decorated
But are stately by themselves
Their vibrating presence surrounds me
I run, I stamp my feet
May all my tears be released
And may mother earth carry my burden
When I can’t carry it myself no more

©RoseGirl2018

A Trace Of Rose Petals

The rain rained the last roses from the rose bush
And now their petals are scattered
over the garden path
as a last trace of beauty
Gracefully they show how strong
those last roses were
As they made it until midwinter

©RoseGirl2018

Running After My Positive Words

My words are often more positive
and optimistic than I am
And sometimes I get tired
of running after
my own positive words again

But then, my words take me by the hand
Smile at me, seduce me
And show me the beauty of life
in tales, verses and poetry
I sigh, I surrender and
can do nothing but follow

©RoseGirl2018

Naive

How the wild rose
dances in the fields
And opens her heart
to people who pass by

Some of them
do not understand
her beauty
They call her a friend
And then just betray her
Or stand on her
Take some petals
And then leave
her heartbroken

Is she just stupid
and too naive
That she dances
Like an innocent child
Gives chance after chance
And perceives people
and the world
every day like a blank page
again
Always sees
the good in them,
Or is that just part
of her pure beauty?

©RoseGirl2018

Trash

I’m here all alone
The lights have already been
turned off
And everyone has left me
I’m like a ghost
And have nowhere to go
But staying here

Am I just left behind
like trash that you throw
after it served its purpose?
What is a friend and
who can you trust?
I care so much
about others
But in the end
who truly cares
about me?

I’m here all alone
And now even
the questions have left me
I’m just a ghost
that talks to itself
Trash that is thrown

©RoseGirl2018

Next: Be Ghosts Together

Rescue

When the ground
beneath your feet
has been roughly
pulled away
You can only
go up and fly
And ask for dreams
to rescue you

©RoseGirl2018

Peace

I send love to those who beat
and mistreated me
Love to the ones that hurt me
I know, you did it
because you were in pain yourself

May compassion lighten you
May forgiveness reach you
And may you forgive yourself

May it bring peace to my heart again
And peace to your heart
As we all are the world
And every heart at peace
will contribute to world peace
And will benefit us all

©RoseGirl2018

LOVE!!!

She knows what violence is
As she experienced it in her own house
On her own body
The most brutal violence,
When you don’t even know
if you’ll survive the next day
And when you can’t even count
your scars no more

She knows what darkness is
As she went to hell
She went to darker than dark places
Where most people would have gone crazy
And would not be able
To go back to heaven no more

But in the violence, the hell and the darkness
She held on to the light of love
As love is her message
About love she writes

And even when someone
who she didn’t know
sent her in a private message,
after she published a poem of love,
a threatening picture of his collection of guns
She only sings, shouts louder now:

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE!

©RoseGirl2018

Hit By A Car

A moisty cold early morning
My thoughts are wandering
And I fly after them
While I ride my bike
And suddenly from aside
A car hits me
And I’m hit back in my body
Roughly thrown in the now
I hear people in the street screaming
I hear my own screaming
My heart beating fast
People come to me
I had not seen them before
I see the shock in their eyes
Or do they only reflect
my own shock?
Are you okay, they ask
Are you doing fine
Strangers seem
to care about me
And I feel embraced
by all of them
I have my guardian angels around
And I am lucky
With only my upper leg injured
As it is not my time yet

©RoseGirl2018

Dreamy Flower Girl

In a world where nothing was sure,
you had the safety of your dreams
In a world where you needed to be an adult,
even when you were just a child,
you had your imaginary friends
to be less lonely
In a world where things were harsh,
you carried a flower within your heart

And now I realize, how I’ve become the harsh world,
How I say the harsh words
in the way I do my inner talk
Every time when I say:
‘I am stupid, I am not worthy,
My poems are crap’
I beat you, my inner dreamy flower girl
Like in the past, you have been beaten by others

But from now on,
No more harsh words
I will love you, love myself
And protect my inner
dreamy flower girl

©RoseGirl2018

Grandfather

Grandfather, do you remember
How we went on adventures together
You took me with me into the forest
at night
You were the greatest storyteller ever
And told me scary stories
But when I walked with you arm in arm
I always felt safe and protected

In a world where I felt lost
and didn’t understand
You were my beacon, my haven
And whatever happened
together with you
I could always embark the world
of make believe

You taught me to be strong,
to be wild, to dream
and to always play like a child

Do you remember,
How I suffered from headaches
And how you then laid your hand
on my head
And said: I will take away all pain
for you?
And you did it, you could do it
As you were the one that could
do anything, you created my world

When they told me you had died
suddenly and unexpectedly at the age of only 65,
– I was 16, too young to lose you yet
I thought this was just another story by you
And I expected you to come back
and we would laugh about it together
But you never did
I didn’t understand
I couldn’t believe

How could you,
the greatest storyteller ever
who was strong like a rock,
then not make another story of it?
It hurt so much that you left
me alone with my stories
And your hand wasn’t there anymore
to take away my pain

©RoseGirl2018

In the most loving remembrance of my grandfather Aart Schreuder (1929-1995)

At Starbucks

At Starbucks I met an elderly couple
from New York
They started to talk to me,
Named me the flower girl
And said
they had seen me walking in town
With the flower in my hair
already before

That flower somehow connected
We were no strangers any longer
We talked about life and love
And shared our deeper life stories

And with a caffè latte in my hand
I told them about the words I write
And how I perceive the world
in stories and in poetry
Wherever I go,
I always have
the flower and my words with me

They asked:
‘Will you write about us now too?’
I smiled
And said: ‘Who knows’

©RoseGirl2018

This Man In Front Of Me

(A poem about domestic violence, written in August 2017)

There is this man in front of me
It might be just a ghost
I’m supposed to know him
Though I don’t know
where he comes from

This man here in front of me
Dirt runs out of his mouth
He spits with no regrets
I have to get out of here
Though I haven’t seen Mary yet

There is this giant here in front of me
He goes up and grows
The sky is filled with him
No sunlight here below
I have to get out of here
Though there is no way to go

This slaughterer here above me
that lifts up his knife
Eyes that shoot the fire
It then hits down and down
Merry-go-round-and-round
Zeus who thunders on high

This floor here underneath me
On which I fall apart
Glass gets broken
Pieces of me all over the floor
Red drops, sharp edges

This red cold floor here to lie on
And those pieces of glass
here right under my eyes
I just wonder
Why they still reflect the light

©RoseGirl2017

The Queen Of The Birds

Look at the peacock
She is the queen of the birds
Elegantly she dances around

Sing her your songs
Court her kingly
Give her the crown of your heart

And then proudly
she’ll show you her feathers
Her truest colours
and all her beauty
is and will be yours

©RoseGirl2018

A Space Of Love

I hold a space
of love for you
A space to fly
to shed your tears
to jump of joy
and to create

A space to fall
and then to rise
again

A space to hide
and turn your back
and shy away

A space to let
your inner child
come out and play
To heal the wounds
and leave
the old behind

A space to dance,
to roar, to laugh,
to shout and be afraid

A space to find me
always
by your side

©RoseGirl2018

Die Sprache Der Liebe

In jeder Sprache
könnte ich singen
über die Liebe
die dir gehört
In jeder Sprache
findet sie die Wörter
and schreibt sie
ihr eigenes Gedicht

Sie sehnt sich
in jeder Sprache
Sie zaubert durch die
Wörter hin
Sie ist die Flamme
und das Licht
Sie ist das Lied
und die, die singt

©RoseGirl2018

La Poésie Du Cœur

Oh paroles françaises,
la poésie du cœur,
emmène-moi à la terre
des rêves
Je vole avec les ailes
de l’amour
Aide-moi trouver
les yeux de mon soleil
Ces deux étoiles
qui font briller
la lumière de mon cœur

©RoseGirl2018

Earthquakes

All these earthquakes
that have shaken
that have taken
away a steady ground
On edge I am
An abyss yawns

But I come to the edge
and dance
Dance all night till dawn
And I let the earth be shaken
Let the heavens trembling
Make the ripples in the waters
As I dance
I chase away the shakes

And even if I fall
I dance
And all the stars
will shoot along
My feet have got the rhythm
And from the edge
I’ll find my higher ground

©RoseGirl2018

Take Your Wings

So take your wings
and we’ll fly away
Far from here
We’ll leave this story,
leave the pain
And seek a shelter
in our dreams

Take your wings, my love
It’s time
Come fly with me
Let’s breathe again
Beyond the words
Out of lines
of a story
too absurd

We’ll make new stories
Let me make up
new dreams
What you want, my love
What you wish
I could even make up
we have wings

©RoseGirl2018

Storm Come

Storm come to clear my path
Blow as strongly as you can
Move as fiercely as you breathe
To clear away the ties
and pull away the weights
that hold me back to fly

©RoseGirl2018

Parachute

I’m losing ground
and I’m falling
Keep on falling
Where are my angel wings
My fairy powders
Why is everything
so real
And my dreams
don’t take me in?

Where are my stories
with happy endings
Where are my poems
that let me fly

And I am falling
Keep on falling
Can you catch me, love
Make me a parachute
As my tears
do not have a hold
And my fears
seem to pull me down

Let me land safely
into new worlds
Where the rivers are flowing,
always flowing
And where no frontiers
can divide
Where fields are wide
and open
And a rose reminds me
of what is locked
deep down inside

©RoseGirl2018

Naked

Here I stand unclothed in front of you
All veils around my heart have been lifted
I cannot hide behind my words no more
Vulnerable I am, the way I was born

My only weapon is my nakedness
If you fire words of harshness
I will undress even more
to reveal a deeper layer of my heart
and how it beats of purest love

What do you see when you look into my mirror?
Is it your own nakedness that scares you?

Walls can be broken
Masks can be scattered
Though pure nakedness is unbreakable

In naked beauty lies my strength and truth

©RoseGirl2018

The Imperfect Rose

I saw a rose that had scars
of rough weather
of thunderstorms,
rain and cold
She had lost
some of her petals
And although
she had her shadows
and wore her thorns
She was the most
delicate flower
rooted in heaven
As she had found
her radiating beauty
within her
perfect imperfection

©RoseGirl2018

The Recalcitrant Poem

I want to rhyme in schemes
But my poem doesn’t let me to
I want to find the harmony within the A,B,A,B
But my poem wants the A,F,B,G

I want to find perfect words
But my poem likes pure expression,
raw words, flowing like a rough river
directly from the heart
I want a garden with borders
but my poem likes the wild flowers
and the uncut grass

I want to write an
intellectual
metrical
composition in
symmetrical
verses
But my poem does
whatever it wants

And now, at least,
I want to end it all in style
But my poem says:
Just do whatever you like

©RoseGirl2018

Small Bird

Small bird in the big field
Hopping shyly around
Do you know
The green grass is all yours
And you have your wings
to fly?
The wind will catch
The earth will nourish
Never underestimate
the strength of the small

©RoseGirl2018

Blessings

Heart petals shower upon her
Blessings fall down
Heaven’s gifts wash over her
Angels kiss her cheeks
and carry her sorrows away

She dances in the rain
Sings in the thunderstorm
A rose in her hair
Wild flowers at her feet
Her dress waves happily
around her

She goes with her rose
with style and with grace
Like she goes with her heart
Her eyes always focused
on the brightest star

©RoseGirl2018

A Worriless Balloon

Cloud will you rain on me
You’re way too heavy weighted
Your darkness hides my sun
Your depression
makes it hard to breathe

Cloud will you rain on me
Release my heavy heart
I held its waters for too long
A growing ball inside my chest
And now it’s hanging at my feet

Wind will you blow in me
And inflate my hanging heart
Let it go up again
Like a worriless balloon

©RoseGirl2018

Wind Of Change

Hear the whisper in the wind
that is blowing from the west
Bringing hopeful messages
of new beginnings

Its strong breath
stirs up the fires once more
Out of ashes rises the Phoenix

Since nothing is set
And all is always changing

The wind of the east
that once blew you far away from me
has changed direction
and will one day bring you back

©RoseGirl2018

Side By Side

You walk slowly
Or do I go too fast
My words move even
far ahead of me
as I run tirelessly
towards my dreams

I turn around
And my love,
you are behind
What are you waiting for?
Do you see
what’s on the horizon
radiating there for us?
Do you see
the golden sun
and the fields of infinity?

Or do you see
the birds along the path
the little stones
that crack
underneath your feet
and is it that
what makes you go
slowly but graciously?

Do I need to slow down
Or do you need to go faster?

Maybe the road I choose
will have some curves
and at the end we will arrive
at the same time?

To then find out
In heart
we have always walked
hand in hand and
side by side

©RoseGirl2018

Present

Each word is a teardrop
I shed for you
Rivers of aching liquid
that flow from my eyes
into my pen and clot
on the paper

The page is a blank pool
that has absorbed
a still life of pain

Each teardrop
is a witness of
how you are present
in absence
Of how the love
flows out of my eyes

©RoseGirl2018

Toast To Life

São Jorge Castle, Lisbon

The queen is at her castle
and overlooks the city
that spreads majestically
down by the river,
into the valley
and over the seven hills

Life is good to those
who toast to life

©RoseGirl2018

Wings Of Gratitude

I bow for the land and the sea underneath me
I bow for the sky spreading widely in front of me
I bow for the angels close above me
I bow for the harvest of the days behind me
For the seeds of tomorrow within me
For the lights of the souls around me
For your heart beating always along with me
For the love flowing strongly through me
For all that you are and all that I am
I bow

©RoseGirl2018

Sandcastle

Here on the sand plain
My feet sink deep into the earth
My hands build our castle
Sand slips through my fingers
While the wind blows its own
creatures
And heart clouds float happily
above me in the sky
Believe, all the magic is real
and reality
is just a bad dream

©RoseGirl2018