It’s when I want to write you
but I cannot write you
that I miss you the most
It’s when the distance,
the gap between us
can’t be bridged by words

©RoseGirl2020

A merciless migraine
pierces my forehead
And ‘I miss you’s’
pierce my heart
Yet from my wounds
I bleed love

©RoseGirl2020

There is no greater,
no deeper gap
to fall in than
to miss you

©RoseGirl2020

Can you turn a light on, my love
’cause my night is darker than dark
Can you blow a kiss from afar
that will make a star above me

©RoseGirl2020

I could say a lot now
Screaming my hurt
to the heavens
Letting my fears, my tears,
my inner turmoil
rage like a hurricane
But instead,
the only thing
that comes out
is a whispered
‘I love you’

©RoseGirl2020

Self-doubts make her fall deep
into the burning fires
in the hell of her mind
Maybe she has never been an angel
but is always just a devil
in disguise
And the only thing that can make
her experience heaven
is her love for him

©RoseGirl2020

When I hold my breath
and feel so much lost
in my fears, in the dark
please find me
and bring me back
to the light of your heart
Shine me to my own
so I will feel again
love is, you are
never further away
than the next breath

©RoseGirl2020

As I go through my day,
move through deep
fears, tears and pain,
and stumble and fall
many times,
I just continue to
bravely love
the hell out of you

©RoseGirl2020

My love, please dance with me
to move away all the rain
that falls within and keeps
dropping from my heart and eyes
We’ll do a sun dance together
to bring in the new,
to take us home to ourselves,
to each other
and invoke the sun

©RoseGirl2020

I can stand on my own feet
but my love,
please hold my hand
and walk with me
as I try to find
my way out of the dark
back to the light

©RoseGirl2020

If I look back at my life
and feel bad about myself
as I only see
all the mistakes I made
all the things I’ve done wrong
all my flawed ways
then at least,
I’ve done one good deed:
to wholeheartedly
and purely love you

©RoseGirl2020

When I don’t want
to be asleep
and I don’t want
to be awake
for I don’t want
to see my nightmares
Then where to be
but to be in love
with you

©RoseGirl2020

As I lie in my bed in the dark
huge waves of fear
come rolling towards
my lonesome land
And I know the only thing
I can do is to breathe
and surrender
for on the other side of fear
there is a clear sea of love
behind the fata morgana
of troubled waters
there is our shore

©RoseGirl2020

At night when outside
it all seems so quiet
fears and aches
are the loudest
and screaming
I miss you’s occupy
the silence

©RoseGirl2020

And under a waning moon
she cries her tears
What is she to the stars
in the night sky
Can they even see her
so far away
or is she smaller than small
does she just disappear
in the dark of the earth
and is she nothing at all?

No, they reply to her
we need your heart to reflect
our light
we need your eyes to be seen
your wishes to be received
we are twinkling in the night
for you
for you deserve a place
in our spotlight

©RoseGirl2020

Keep me safe in your thoughts
safe in your heart
while I battle
with demons,
stand my ground
in a violent world

©RoseGirl2020

Loneliness is
nothing but
experiencing myself
in physical form
caged within skin
separated
by sea and land
from you

©RoseGirl2020

When the night falls
with a thousand ‘I miss you’s’
and self doubts
and thoughts creep in
that show the past,
all the things
that I’ve done wrong
I can only come to terms
with the dark
if I breathe out,
breathe in love

©RoseGirl2020

‘I miss you’s’ hang
like dark clouds
around my head
and rain their tears
upon me
And I,
I float on an ark
of love
and pray for the sun

©RoseGirl2020

When in my head
thoughts and heavy aches
keep me stuck
in one place
and I am
unable to move,
I fly away
with my heart
to be with you

©RoseGirl2020

What do I do
when I walk into walls
hit closed doors with my fists
scream unheard screams
and cry unseen tears

I go within, to my heart
where there are no walls,
where doors are always open
where you listen
to my screams, catch my tears
and hold me in the infinite space
of love

©RoseGirl2020

When migraines are sharp
and pounding
and pain in head and heart
feels so ugly

I let it hold hands
with the beauty of love

©RoseGirl2020

When her heart grieves
so deep
all she longs for is
his arms to hold her
but they are an ocean apart

So instead, he tells her
to look at the sky above
the earth below
to sense the wind on her skin
to see the trees sway
clouds move
the stars appear
and to feel that everything
around her is his embrace

©RoseGirl2020

And when it rains inside
Hold me tight against your chest
and let the warmth and the light
of the sun of your heart dry
my pouring inner waters

©RoseGirl2020

At night when I face
my demons
every thought of you
lights a candle
in the dark

©RoseGirl2020

Those mornings when I could write
a thousand different things
I could write about the weather
– it rains and rains and rains
and make a metaphorical poem
though my pen keeps stuck at only
a few words:

I miss you
I love you

©RoseGirl2020

My love, do you also feel
the sadness
Do you feel that hole
the emptiness beside you
when you wake up
in the middle of the night
and your hands sense all
that is missing

Then feel inside
how full we are of each other
how every spot is filled with
abundant love

©RoseGirl2020

Early in the morning
I cycle through the city
in the rain
and I think of you
miss you
The story of the past
on repeat in my mind
the headlights of cars
shine upon my tears
and let them shimmer
like diamonds
As if each is precious
holding a truth
behind the story
how much we are connected
and behind the pain
how deep, how strong,
how shiny
the love is

©RoseGirl2020

May I lie in your arms
and rest in the sound
of your heartbeat
to know that
I don’t need to close
my eyes to see dreams
for real
And no matter how much noise
the world makes
how loud my thoughts,
my headaches
it’s only your strong heartbeat
I listen to
it’s our calming song, our hopes
I hear

©RoseGirl2020

When my head aches
and cannot write no more
my heart takes over
to write a pain-free,
safe, love haven
in a poem
for us both

©RoseGirl2020

Harsh headaches
lie like a hard shell
around me
But even
within the pain
I find the pearl
of a soft
‘I love you’

©RoseGirl2020

When nights get dark
and headaches knock
me down
I still have
the thought of you
the rising moon
within

©RoseGirl2020

And sometimes a poem
doesn’t have beautiful words
but the F-word is smashed
into it
screaming with anger with the world
hurt and raw, naked ‘I miss you’s’
stand lonely in the empty spaces
in between
and tears drop from the letters
like waterfalls
But what still makes it beautiful is
it is written with the indelible ink
of love

©RoseGirl2020

The last days
the sun doesn’t seem
to rise no more
but it remains
a dark night of missing you
Only the stars remind me
of the light,
of the promise we made
to stay strong
and to have faith
even if I cannot see

©RoseGirl2020

My bed is so empty
when my arms
have nothing to hold
when my tears
are full
of missing you

©RoseGirl2020

When migraines are like hammers
that completely knock me down
the thought of you, love
lifts me up

©RoseGirl2020

All those nasty things
they say about me
Let the pure water of our love
wash over me to wash me clean
from those images and words
so what is left is
nothing but me

©RoseGirl2020

When I feel so weak,
in pain and exhausted
because of all the heavy headaches,
the migraines I endure
I just let myself be carried
by the strong arms of our love

©RoseGirl2020

When I go through a hardship
though I try to make
the best of it
and deep down I know I can,
I know I will
Yet can you hold my hand
can I tell you I’m scared
will you leap with me together
by my side
when despite my fears
despite I’m feeling broken
I take my steps

©RoseGirl2020

Will you see me beautiful, my love
even if people see me as their worst enemy
if they project their own dirt,
all their ugliness on me
and they cover me with their hatred

Can you lend me your eyes to remove their lies
and to see myself again

©RoseGirl2020

And here I sit outside
with my back against a wall
Pain makes it so hard
to move and to breathe
Yet the sun shines on my face
and I soak the light in

My love, did you send the sun to me
did you ask it to find me
straight through the dark
and heavy clouds

Was it the answer to the prayer
you said
or was it mine that asked for you?

The light has found me
and touches, kisses my face
But it also makes the darkness
of the pain
so visible, so palpable

But continue to pray, my love
I continue to pray
even though it now hurts so much
It is the light that will heal

©RoseGirl2020

At night when I face
my shadows
and see them make
frightening shapes
on the walls
I wrap myself
in the thought of you
to keep me safe

©RoseGirl2020

When headaches and fears
project ghosts on the dark
screen of the night
and alone feels suddenly so lonely
my bed too big, and I’m too small
I think of you bravely
and let the love between our hearts
beam stars, beam light
into the darkness

©RoseGirl2020